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2/11/2003 06:29:00 PM | Timothy

Personal Ads

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I didn't attend Harvard so I'd never seen its alumni mag until a colleague handed me three issues. "Check out the personal ads," she said. "You won't believe it."
Well, I was skeptical. Like most sophisticated intellectuals, I believed that America's best personal ads appeared in America's best transportation magazine, Outlaw Biker, where incarcerated women advertise for Harley-riding studs:

"Caged Kitten, 30, 5-10, 165 lbs., 38-D, 30-32, Blonde Looking for a new home . . . If you are a man between 35-99, secure mentally, physically and financially, then drop me a line! My release date is 2004."

It's hard to beat the ads in Outlaw Biker, but I picked up Harvard and gave it a look. Within minutes, I was stunned, amazed, transfixed. The women of every red-blooded man's dreams were advertising their availability...
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